I'm not going to lie: I don't think there's any reason why anyone else needs to know. Yes, I am open about being gay and, no, I don't mind telling you, but I do mind when you ask.
I was having an argument about this with my friend because she didn't understand what the big deal was. Like, I'm clearly gay and I'm clearly alright with being gay, so if someone asks, why can't I just tell them and be done with it?
Because nobody has the right to ask. It's personal. I can choose to tell you, and most likely I will. Asking someone's sexuality is like asking someone with a zit on their forehead if they have acne. I don't get it. Things that are considered rude in every other aspect of society are considered completely acceptable in the realm of homosexuality.
I tried to excuse it and I tried to just say, "Well, society is adjusting. One day it will be considered unacceptable to ask, but for now, we just have to deal with it." But then I realized that that is complete bullshit. What if Martin Luther King sat there and said, "Well, society is adjusting. One day, black people will be allowed to sit in the front of the bus, but for now, we just have to deal with it."
Sounds stupid, doesn't it?
Probably because it is.
So no more of that. I'm done tolerating bullshit, but thanks for trying to persuade me that offensive things aren't offensive. It was a good effort.
I agree. Unless I'm in the middle of making out with a guy, you don't have the right to ask me about my sexuality. I think it's unfortunate that we live in a society where we have to assume everyone is straight until they tell us otherwise (I do it, too), but until being becomes 100% no big deal, there's no working around the fact that asking is rude. And that time won't come for a while. It should be when asking if someone is gay is equivalent to asking if someone is left handed.
ReplyDeleteHowever, aside from that case, I'm open to questions. I firmly believe that knowledge is power. Usually, these types of questions start with "this is a personal question; you don't have to answer...". I prefer my friends to ask me these questions and run the risk of sounding naive or even politically incorrect than to have them not know the answer.
The best way to fight the hatred and fear is to fight the ignorance that they stem from. So for all questions aside from the big, bad, "are you gay?", I'm happy to have been asked.
I agree with that, but I also think there's a correct way to ask the question, and most people don't ask it correctly. I think many people assume they have the right to know, and they don't. I love the fact that people ask me questions; I love answering questions; I love that people are comfortable enough with the topic to ask. But I also think people need to be aware of the risk of invading someone's privacy.
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